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Man, things have just been a whirlwind!  Huge paper due and done, and my spring vacation... and other things I'm sure I'll think of later.  But my vacation!  It was fantastic!  I went to Chicago to stay with a friend of my parents who lives in this really cool, artsy apartment.  With three dogs.  Who are smelly and badly trained.  Especially in the potty area.  Mmm.  But honestly, I had a really great time.  On the days I didn't go out or work on my paper (which I can't really say I worked on all that much, thanks as always to procrastination), I ended up cleaning the apartment.  Very Thoroughly. It would always start out with just picking up the kitchen- putting away the dishes or something- and I would go off on a cleaning tangent and wouldn't stop all day.  It was great!  Her apartment is horribly dirty.  You would not believe the horrors I found cleaning the kitchen.  But I really like doing that kind of cleaning, so it was fun.  I only wish I could have stayed long enough to finish the job.  And actually, I just might!  This summer!  But more on that in a second, because I must say the other great thing that happened during spring break while I was in Chicago:  I GOT A HAIRCUT!!  Now, this might not seem like a big deal to most people, but believe me, it is a HUGE deal.  A Colossal Deal.  First of all, I never get haircuts.  My mother has always insisted on either doing it herself, or having her ex-hair stylist friend come over and trim it.  I haven't gone to a place to have it cut for... probably about 7-8 years.  Also, my hair is extremely long- down to a little above the small of my back.  I like it that way because it's a lot more fun and unique, I think, but the problem was that it was always in the way, and I could never find a good way to style it.  So it pretty much just always looked pretty average.  But either way, I've never gotten anything other than a trim about once a year, so I've never really had a significant hair cut. Until about 3 weeks ago.  3 weeks ago, I had half of my hair chopped off and I got bangs. BANGS. It was a life-changing moment without a doubt.  I've always wanted bangs, and then to finally have them and to look so different, and GOOD...  It was fantastic.  And I've been livin' it up ever since.  Especially since one of my favorite songs, Kataomoi Fighter, talks about how in the end she cuts her over grown bangs and at that point her life changes and she begins to move forward, it really affected me and spoke to me.  It made it all that more significant.  (By the way, the song Kataomoi Fighter is where I came up with my username!)

Anyway!  So as I was saying, I will *hopefully* be going to Chicago and staying with this friend of my parents for the summer!  My mother really really wants me to go too, because she thinks it will be a good experience for me, but my father is against it.  For pretty much no reason except he just doesn't want me to.  I really hope I get to go because I'm really looking forward to living in a big city away from home and other things.  My ideal would be to take this intensive language program at a college up there from 9:00 to noon and then have a part time job in the afternoon.  And clean the house.  :)  I would love it if I could do that, but the program is pretty expensive, so I don't know if I can.  But I at least want to have a job.  I've never had a job before and really need the experience.  And money.

Well, that wraps that up.  I have two really big tests I need to start studying for because they're coming up in a month, so I should focus on that for the time being.

Also- during my stay in Chicago with the friend of my parents who has a dirty apartment and keeps nothing edible in the house, I discovered I absolutely adore V8 Strawberry-Banana!  I'm addicted to it now.  :)

Man it's been a while.  There's a ton of stuff going on right now in my life.  Many incidents.  Most notibly my Intermediate Japanese II class being canceled, my paper, and The Piano Thing.  I am once again on here because I'm procrastinating (of course) so that's all I'll say about that.

I really hate February.  It's THE worst month of the year for me.  Bad things just always seem to happen during February, and for some reason I tend to be more emotional and have more difficulty dealing with issues then too.  I'm not really sure how to describe it.  It's like I'm a lot more conscientious about my flaws or lack of progress this time of the year than any other time.  And it all just mixes together to form The Worst Month of the Year.  Every year.  Since February 2008.  That one was the worst.  It will follow me for the rest of my life.  Ug.

Alrighty, I should end here.  Wish me good luck for the rest of Feb!  I'll need it.  *~*

Jan. 1st, 2010


So much to say, so much to do!  But I'll just leave it at this for now.


I found out today that my totally non-sexual friend Alice has a boyfriend. She has NEVER had a boyfriend before. And not only did she tell me that she's now dating this guy who's a lot older than her that I've never met before, but apparently they had a serious make out session last Saturday. I know many people wouldn't think anything of this, but for me this was huge. The image I have of Alice and the image she gave me when she told me she made out with a guy do NOT go together at all. They COLLIDE. There's really no way I can explain it. I know I'm a bit of a prude myself- I was very sheltered as a child, but I know that a lot, okay, pretty much all young people get it on. I mean, I don't bat an eye when I see something completely outrageous and scandalous on TV or read or hear about it. I have a little difficulty when I hear people my age or younger talking about it like it's nothing, and I have to remind myself that I'm the one who's different, not them. But I still understand it. But today I find out that my close friend, who seriously never talks about wanting to go out with some guy or any of that kind of talk, and as far as I know has never even kissed a guy, is now dating this... this Alex guy! I couldn't believe it! I was totally blown away! It's like everything I thought I understood or knew has been twisted upside down! Like everything I know is a lie!!! WHAT?!?! I just completely freaked out when she told me. I wasn't mad, though, just.... completely caught off guard. I was NOT expecting that at all. It just doesn't fit into my image of her. She's not a shy bookworm, or one of those people who are completely obsessed with school/work. She's just a totally normal, crazy kind of person. And it's not like she was the kind of person who was innocent or afraid to talk about sex or drugs or promiscuous things either. She just isn't one of those girls who talks a lot about getting a boyfriend or who they like. So when she told me... I'm repeating myself. But that's just how my mind was handling it when all this happened! She picked a really bad day to drop this on me. I couldn't focus at all for the next 2 hours after she told me. Eventually I blocked it out so I could get some work done and not freak out over it in my mind. But the images she left me with kept poping up in my mind. At first when she told me she just said "we made out." But when I asked her about it, she said it was funny because she wore high heel boots, so bla bla bla her height, bla bla bla his height, bla bla bla first date, what to where, bla bla bla because she "almost hit his crotch with them like three times." ......... She almost hit his crotch with her shoes? Three times?... I was struggling with the mental picture of how that could happen (because mine was just of the two of them neatly sitting on the couch calmly making out *with their feet on the floor*), so I asked her exactly how their making out lead her to worry about.... And then she told me. She told me that, and I quote, they were "seriously making out, on the couch, ON THE FLOOR..." !!!!! And that's when my image of Alice completely shattered. And my world turned upside down.

I really am very sheltered. I know it and I admit it. But I'm not a total prude. It's just that the closer it is to me, the more I freak out. It's not my fault! I'm sheltered! I feel like I have to defend myself. But honestly, I'm not completely a prude. I don't think you have to be married before you have sex, I..... Aw geez I ran out of reasons already.

Well I'm super busy today so I can't sit here trying to defend myself to the internet and all who are on it. Maybe I should just make this a private post... Hm. Well anyway...

IT SNOWED!!! :D 2nd time this year! Yes!

I can't believe this. My city is in a POCKET OF WARM AIR. All around us people are getting a foot or more of snow and we only have an inch. Seriously? Is this really happening?! Gah~!

Stupid pocket.

~Sigh~ Well, that didn't happen. Of all days to get food poisoning. Really. I only got caught up this Friday! That was THE most stressful week I've ever had. Thanksgiving was good, but I didn't get anything done like I planned. I forgot that at my grandparents' farm, where we always have Thanksgiving, there's almost this unspoken rule that you sit at the dinning room table all day. If you're not out doing something, you're at the dinning room table. It's quite boring and unnecessary, but that's where I was when I should have been doing all the things I brought on the trip to finish. Still, quite a good meal. I'm really going to miss having Thanksgiving with them. It's such a huge part of my childhood!

Once again I have been procrastinating all weekend. I have found a Japanese drama about a vampire boy falling in love with his human teacher, called Koishite Akuma, or The Loving Demon. It's all very awkward, but for some reason I can't stop watching it. Good thing it's only 11 episodes. Anyway, the vampire boy, Ruka, is living with this super nice in a strange kind of way family that owns a restaurant. (I'm skipping a lot of interesting info and plot to save time and to get to the point, but it's killing me.) This restaurant seems to only make something called Gyoza, or more likely it's their specialty, but they mention their gyoza several times in every episode, so it's made me really want one. I normally really don't like the overall taste of Japanese food, which is tragic because I love Japan so much, so whenever I go to a Japanese restaurant (rarely), I usually get chicken or something more Western. But since watching this show that keeps showing a Gyoza restaurant making Gyoza and eating Gyoza and talking about how amazingly good their Gyoza are and asking other characters if they want any Gyoza etc, etc, you can probably imagine why I might want one. They just look so good! So right after seeing the last episode I've watched, I looked up how to make Gyoza. It doesn't seem too difficult, and it doesn't have any ingredients that would give it a taste I wouldn't like, so I think I might try to make it. The only problem is there are some ingredients that aren't that common in normal supermarkets. There's a Asian market store that I know of and have been to before that would probably have them, but I'm a little anxious about going. This store always has only Asian customers in it whenever I've gone, and I've always been with friends when I go so I don't feel as self conscious. Maybe I'll give in to my weakness a little and ask a friend along. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so as awkward and embarrassed when wandering around looking for the right ingredients. I can read Japanese well enough, but it would still take a while as it's an unfamiliar store and I don't know exactly what I'm looking for or what it looks like. Either way, I'll have time to think about it because I won't be able to go for a while. This week is probably going to be pretty busy too. Well, it's my own fault for not doing anything this weekend. There's a 70% chance of snow on Tuesday, so hopefully I'll get a free day to get stuff done! Of course I have a concert on Tuesday that would have to be rescheduled, perhaps even more inconveniently, so that could be bad, but other than that...

Please oh please oh please let it snow on Monday night/Tuesday!!! It does NOT snow enough around here.

Wah! It's mostly over! Just two more days of extreme busy-ness and I'm done! Soo close to the finish line. The worst is over, though.

Come on, Thanksgiving...

Busy, busy, busy! So busy! I've never been busier in my life!!!

I've been in a really good mood lately.  I have no idea why.  I think it might have a little to do with how well I'm doing in some of my toughest classes!  My impossible, evil advanced English class has always been my weakest point, and I actually have an A in it right now!  Well, it's a 8.97 and my teacher doesn't round up (but she is the most fabulous teacher ever so it's okay) so technically it's a B, but to me it still counts as an A.  That, and I have an A in my Chemistry class, which everyone has difficulties with including me (this one is a 90.7!), and I have an 85 in my impossible, evil Calculus class, which is brilliant!  The weather has also been really nice lately.  And when I say really nice, I mean it's really becoming autumn.  When the wind blows, it seriously looks like it's raining leaves!  And I've finally somewhat broken the habit of staying up too late and have been going to bed early, which I think is contributing to my good mood.

So speaking of staying up late, today is a special day for me.  Today a moderately large paper (technically a journal) on the books Hamlet, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead was due, and I was a very bad student and once again totally blew it off.  So as soon as I came home yesterday I went straight to work.  Did I have a small TV or computer break before I started?  No!  Did I take really long breaks very frequently?  No!  Well I guess I did later in the night, but it was just two long breaks instead of several, and believe you me, I NEEDED them that long.  Why, you might ask?  You might recall me mentioning that today is a special day for me.  That's because... last night was my first all-nighter!!  I actually stayed up through the entire night working on my paper!  I'm very excited about it, which is strange, I know.  But normally I cannot function at all when I'm sleepy, so I assumed I would succumb to temptation and go to bed before I was done.  BUT I DIDN'T!  It turns out that after I pass a certain point, instead of being sleepy I just become really out of it and everything just gets hazy and dream-like.  I admit I had a ton of trouble staying focused, but I managed to get it done!  And I was so proud of myself!  Then at 6:20 am I took a nap until 6:40 am, then I took a shower and went along my merry way.  It was great!  I love experiencing new.... experiences.  And this was definitely a new experience!  And keep in mind- I did this all without caffeine.  I don't like coffee or soda (I know, I know- I have a really sensitive tongue, alright?  That carbonated stuff hurts! And I just plain can't stand the smell and taste of coffee.)  So anyway, I did it without a caffeine buzz.  I did have candy and cookies, though.

But you see, this is what I'm talking about:  I do something like blow off an important paper until the very last minute, and I always come out ahead so I don't learn from my mistakes.  Of course, technically I don't always come out ahead.  But I'm always so happy to be done with a paper or something similar that once I'm done I'm happy no matter what.  Plus, sometimes I'm just lucky.  Or a good liar.  It's really very despicable.  But see in this case- I'm forced to forgo sleep (and lunch today, but that's just because of computer problems.  Long story.) and stay up all night doing something troublesome, boring, and downright annoying because I was stupid and didn't start it earlier and what's my reaction?  I'm pumped for my first all-nighter.  I don't feel any negative feelings about it whatsoever.  It's nice, sometimes, that I'm so positive, but it can be very inconvenient.

So!  With that said and done, I'm going to have my lunch/snack now and GO TO BED!


Japanese Dress 1

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